Oprah Winfrey is a rancid, festering media whore.

And I'm not just saying this because she's black, although it would be unfair to say her blackness doesn't play into it.

I am, of course, talking about her "Crash moment" at Hermes in Paris.

As you may know, if you've ever been shopping, generally speaking, if a store closes at, say, 8:30, the customers inside are informed that the store is closing and encouraged to take their purchases to the counter. The doors to the store are locked, and the people are let out by an employee who graciously tells the people who want to get in that the store is, indeed, closed. Patrons of closed stores have been known to linger for over an hour after closing time.

In higher-scale shops, such as, say, Hermes, people are not as strongly encouraged to leave, because they have lots of money they want to give to the proprieters. But closed still means closed.

So, when Oprah showed up at Hermes fifteen minutes after closing, it should come as no surprise that they wouldn't let her in. Granted, they have, in the past, let some VIPs in after closing, but it's not standard operating procedure. If it was, they'd never close.

Now, I don't know if Oprah is any bit the media goddess in France as she is here, but I kind of doubt it.

Now, put yourself in the employee's shoes.

It's 8:45, fifteen minutes past closing, and people are still lingering about. There's some kind of function later on that you may or may not have to work at, and the sooner everyone leaves, the sooner you can close up and go home. Suddenly, a couple Americans show up at the door. You're closed, and you tell them so. They point out the people still shopping. You kindly inform them that they were there before closing, and there's really nothing you can do. Inevitably, they play the "Do-you-know-who-I-am" card, to which you reply "no", and even if you did, you still have that function to help set up. Rather than going away peacefully and returning some other time when your store is open, they bitch and moan and play the dreaded race card.

Next thing you know, this obnoxious woman is back in the US making a big to-do about being turned away from a closed store because she's black. Not because you were closed, not because you had other things to do at the store, after hours, no. It's because she's black, and you're racist.

Now, I'm not saying the race card should never be played. I think it's appropriate in some circumstances, when you're being treated unfairly solely because of your race. Yes, it's true that insitutional racism is still alive throughout the world, and it's a very real problem. But playing the race card just to get your way is not only dishonest, but it hurts the entire pursuit of racial equality.

Celebrities who use the "Do-you-know-who-I-am" card to eke out special priveleges are useless turds floating in a sea of vomit and are worthy of nothing but contempt. When these celebrities invoke their race as the cause for their misfortune, when it clearly isn't (see also Michael Jackson vs. Tommy Matola), the only thing to do is ignore them and forget about them. Nothing pisses off self-rightious celebrities as much as indifference.

Which reminds me, remember when you were asking me for an example of irony?

- Nearly Good-Looking